How COVID-19 Is Improving Dating

We’re officially in uncharted territory, my friends.

We can’t leave our houses for how long? No one truly knows??? Why does my voice keep getting higher as I ask these questions? I’M OFFICIALLY FREAKING OUT!

In all seriousness, though, is this even real life? Because this feels like a crazy dream we’re all gonna wake up from any second, right?

…Right?

Oh, god. Okay. It’s gonna be okay. Of course, it’s gonna be okay.

“I wanted a work-from-home job,” I said.
“I never have enough time or energy to get shit done,” I said.
“I’d be in great shape if I could cook all my meals, sleep in, and work out regularly,” I said.

Well, it looks like a magical genie by the name of COVID-19 granted me those three wishes. Guess this thing isn’t all bad.

But you know what IS bad?

The fact that I am single and probably will be for the foreseeable future—a future that is getting harder and harder to foresee by the day.

But how bad is it, really?

It would be easy to say that I’m totally doomed now that no one can meet up for dates. There’s no clear timeline for when I’ll possibly get laid again. What a truly frightening thought…

But here’s the thing: We may not be able to go on actual in-person dates at bars or restaurants or coffee shops like we used to, but we can still date.

In fact, I think this is gonna be the best thing that’s happened to dating in a long time.

Here’s why…

16 Reasons Why Virtual Dating During COVID-19 Is Better Than Regular Dating

1. We all just got a lot less shallow.

As much as we would all like to claim that we don’t judge a book by its cover, we do. Don’t even try to deny it. For a majority of users, online dating apps are basically just a game of “Hot or Not?” And that might work out well for super attractive people (you lucky SOBs), but what about the majority of us?

Now that the only way to date is virtually since meeting up is highly discouraged, looks matter way less. Rather than looking for the hottest person to hook up with, we should be swiping for the most interesting person to talk to.

By all means, swipe right on hotties—don’t let me stop you. But if they’re dumb as a box of rocks, matching with them isn’t going to serve much purpose for you these days, is it?

2. No more wondering about whether someone is just looking to get laid.

In somewhat of the same vein, we can stop worrying about people’s motives now. So many of us wonder if the person we’re talking to is just playing games—if they’re just being charming to get into our pants only to bolt the second they successfully manage it.

Since sex won’t be an option for a while, if someone is really just trying to sleep with you because they think you’re hot or they’re “not ready for a relationship,” they’re going to have to keep the game up way longer than usual. And, thankfully, most players don’t have that kind of attention span.

So, anyone who sticks around and keeps talking to you with no idea when you’ll ever be able to meet­ is likely talking to you because they have at least some desire to get to know you.

3. You’ll really connect because we’re all desperate for social interaction.

On a normal day, we’re pulled in a lot of directions—work, errands, family commitments, social engagements, workouts, etc. It’s hard to give strangers on dating apps your undivided attention when you have so many other things demanding your attention all day. Plus, it’s not like you’re usually desperate for connection when you are probably having countless social interactions throughout the day.

Suddenly, with way more time on our hands and the inability to see anyone, we are desperate for the connection we are used to. And while some people are quarantined with family members, roommates, or significant others, those who are single and live alone may be more open than ever to chat in order to alleviate the isolation.

4. We all have a built-in conversation starter.

I’m an online dating veteran. I’ve been doing it off and on since 2008, and I’ve met several significant others on dating apps. In all my years of online dating, I’ve never found it easier to make conversation with strangers than right now. Why? Because we’re all going through a shared experience.

When people message me, “Hey, how are you?” I’ve always found it lazy, unoriginal, and uninspiring. I get dozens of messages that just say some variation of “hi,” which makes it hard to decide whom to answer.

Plus, it’s kind of a dead end. When you don’t know a person or anything about their life, what can you really say to that outside of, “Hi, I’m okay. You?” Then, they respond something like, “I’m good—just chilling,” and the conversation is over before it even started.

Now, “How are you?” has morphed into “How is quarantine life treating you?” and the answer to that question is so much more interesting. You truly get a glimpse into someone’s personality and life when you have a built-in shared experience to bond over.

5. With more downtime, date scheduling is easier than ever.

Suddenly, we all have a lot more time on our hands. And while the unimaginative among us will complain endlessly about being bored, a silver lining is that it’s a lot easier to get ahold of people than usual.

Before, it may have been hard to coordinate schedules for a date when people work different shifts, attend fitness classes, and have various social commitments on their agendas. Now? Everyone’s calendars are wide open, and they’re desperate for social activities.

6. You’ll save money.

Rejoice, guys! No more throwing $100+ down the drain to go on dates with people that don’t go anywhere.

Dating can get expensive. Between gas or Uber costs to get to and from dates and then the cost of a round or two of drinks plus food, a date can cost anywhere from $25 to more than $100.

Now think about the fact that most first dates don’t turn into relationships. Actually, a study by Hinge revealed that on average, its dating app users who found a significant other within two months on the app had to chat with 17 people and go on 4 or 5 dates before finding someone to commit to. That likely translates to a few hundred dollars in dating expenses—a decent amount of money spent searching for The One.

Well, not anymore because virtual dating is free! All you need is a device with a camera and an internet connection, and if you’re reading this, I’m gonna go ahead and assume you have that.

7. Less effort is required.

On the topic of savings, virtual dating also requires way less investment up front. No need to buy a new outfit or stress over what to wear. No need to shave any body parts. No need to frantically clean your place on the off-chance you take it back there at the end of the night.

Sure, you and your home should look presentable on camera, but the great part about a virtual date is that you can control what’s shown, which makes it only necessary to do the bare minimum.

That being said, I don’t recommend FaceTiming in your sweatpants with bedhead. Show your date they’re worth at least a bit of effort, okay?

8. There’s no need to be nervous over expectations.

Many of us have a fear of the unknown, and dating under normal circumstances comes with a lot of pressure. Unless the chemistry is undeniable, it can be hard to figure out what to expect or whether you’re on the same page.

We stress over countless things:

Who pays?

Should we kiss at the end of the first date?

How many dates should we have before having sex?

We suddenly no longer have to worry about any of this stuff, and it’s a huge weight off our shoulders. When you don’t have to be in your head so much, you can just relax and get to know someone.

9. Dates will be more creative.

Tired of meeting for drinks or suffering through awkward dinners? With only virtual dates as an option now, you’re definitely going to date in ways you never have before.

Sure, you can still FaceTime over dinner for a more traditional experience, but why not think outside the box? We’re living in weird times, so have fun by challenging yourself and your date to get creative.

Need some inspiration? Subscribe to my emails to get a list of ten virtual date ideas—with bonus conversation starters!

[convertkit form=1300362]

10. The sex will be better when you do finally get to have it.

Bear with me on this one, but I think not being able to have sex on the timeline you want is going to make the sex way better when you actually can have it.

Since we can’t get together anymore, we’re going to have to get creative on the sex front. When you virtually meet someone you vibe with, your options to take it to the next level are somewhat limited under current circumstances. Sexting and phone sex are your new best friends.

Here’s why this is great: It forces you to talk about your preferences before the main event. You can get a sense for what your potential partner likes, and you can tell them exactly what you like.

When the quarantine is lifted and you can actually get in bed together, you’ll have fun bringing all your shared fantasies to life.

11. There’s no risk of STDs or unwanted pregnancies.

It’s definitely not the sexiest thing to talk about, but STDs and pregnancies are very real concerns when it comes to dating. Even if you are being safe, no form of birth control is 100 percent effective, and there’s no way to guarantee that your partner is being faithful. Getting intimate with someone has always come with risks…

…until now.

When the only type of sex you can have is virtual, these risks evaporate.

Phone and video sex can come with consequences of their own, though. Remember that once something is sent, it lives in the internet ether forever. Make sure the person you engage in this type of activity with seems trustworthy. Otherwise, you need to be okay with the idea that images or videos you send could end up somewhere public.

So don’t send those dick pics to just anyone, okay? (If you do, that girl is going to show your junk to her friends and laugh at you. You’ve been warned.)

12. It’s safer than ever in general.

While I’m someone who believes online dating is pretty safe on a normal day, an October 2019 study says nearly 50 percent of people disagree with me. But if you’ve been on the fence about trying it due to safety concerns, this is the time to face your fear of online dating.

Because of the quarantine, you’ll have lots of time to get to know a person before ever meeting up with them in person. It will likely be weeks (maybe even months) before we can go on in-person dates, so it’s going to be harder than ever for anyone with ulterior motives to keep up their game.

Of course, there’s always a risk when you’re talking to a stranger—online or in person—so be smart. It probably goes without saying, but don’t share your last name or address, and never send money to someone you don’t know.

13. You now have the time to become as dateable as possible.

Desire is a powerful motivator. People often say their partners inspire them to become the best versions of themselves, but those benefits usually come after meeting someone and dating them for a while. This makes meeting a potential partner now particularly advantageous if you’re someone who gets very nervous before first dates.

Why? Because you will have weeks or months to get inspired and work on becoming the best you. You’ll gain more confidence in who you are and what you have to offer before the first in-person date.

Self-conscious about some extra weight you’ve put on recently? You now have the time and opportunity to lose a few pounds before that first impression.

Always stressing out about the possibility of a date coming home with you because your place isn’t tidy? You suddenly have the time you’ve been looking for to get your home in order.

Use this downtime wisely, people. To have dating success, you need to become the kind of person your ideal match would want to date. If you don’t think you’re dating material, why would anyone else?

14. You have way more options because there’s no advantage to someone living closer to you.

We live on a giant planet with billions of people on it. We likely all have thousands of people we could be compatible with if only we crossed paths with them. Well, the internet connects us all now, so open your mind to who else may be out there.

Have you tried dating in your city to no avail? Maybe it’s time to expand your horizons. With no one able to meet up, dating someone in another city—or even country—is no different from dating someone local.

Sure, this may present challenges whenever we are finally able to leave our homes again, but if the love is real, I have a feeling you’ll figure out a way to make it work.

And even if you can’t make the distance work, you’ve now made a new friend from a faraway place! That’s still a pretty cool outcome if you ask me.

15. It makes for a great story of how your romance started.

Whether or not you want to admit it, everyone dreams of having their very own “meet cute.”

If you haven’t heard the term before, it’s basically when you have a rom-com-style, serendipitous first encounter with the love of your life.

While this probably isn’t how you imagined it, finding your significant other at a time when you couldn’t actually meet them out in the real world is pretty ironic and makes for an interesting love story.

16. The wait helps build excitement and anticipation.

It’ll definitely be somewhat excruciating to match with someone you totally click with only to be unable to meet them in person or demonstrate your affection in any physical way, but I urge you to lean into this.

Capitalize on the anticipation you can build. If you form an amazing connection through talking and learning each other’s stories and preferences, it’ll likely be much more special when you do finally get to meet up.

Plus, I mean, if you can make it through a global pandemic together, you can probably make it through just about anything, right? It’s all uphill from here!

Date with Me During COVID-19!

I’m looking on the bright side and embracing whatever happens to my dating life during these uncertain times. I’ll be swiping right, sliding into DMs, and taking chances on people I may not have before the whole world went on lockdown. What do I really have to lose?

If you want to read about my trials and tribulations dating in the time of COVID-19, sign up for my email list so you never miss a post.

I’ll be blogging about my (virtual) dates—the good, the bad, and the hilarious—and sharing my thoughts on love and relationships twice a week. I’ll also be sending out a weekly digest of the latest dating news, my favorite love quotes, online dating tips, and more.

Bonus: If I’ve convinced you now’s the time to date like you’ve never dated before, signing up for my email list gets you an exclusive guide with ten virtual date ideas and conversation starters. Subscribe now!

Can’t wait to explore this whole new dating frontier with you guys. We got this! Stay inside, stay safe, and be kind to each other.

Cheers to adventures in virtual dating!